As a working mom of 1 child I find it hard to find time for myself and sometimes I just need a break. Currently my husband is working night shift, as he does most summers, and that means I am the HMFIC (head mother fucker in charge). When he goes on night shift there is a strict rule, Mommy gets to sleep in and have a couple hours away from all of the chaos of single mom life. If you are a single parent (mother or father) I am so proud of you! I am figuring out, on a very small level, what it is like to raise a child alone and it is not easy.
The struggle is real! I find the hardest part of single mom life is trying to find time to decompress and regroup from frustrating moments. For example my daughter loves watching TV, Paw Patrol, and occasionally I don't want her to watch TV all afternoon. I encourage her to read books, play outside, build something with her Legos and magnets but no...she is unconscionable (insert complete melt down here)! After a few minutes of crying I would try to see if she wanted to play with me and that didn't go over well. She is not only sobbing at this point but now threw in a severe case of sass. To time out we go, and repeat all of the above for a couple hours. This is the most frustrating part of parenting for me. Yes, I understand that she is 3 and she is throwing a fit and its over something that is not that serious but I have said NO and I can't go back at this point. SO I continue the fight because I AM GOING TO WIN! In the end we fought all night, read some books, played with her puzzles, and then I cried myself to sleep because I was mentally exhausted.
Moral of the story is that we need breaks as parents and that is ok! If you have a child that is colicky, place that beautiful baby in his/her crib and take a break. That baby is not going to harm itself while laying in a crib while you take a minute or two to walk away and hide in your closet for peace and quiet. For toddlers and small children I have found that distraction is the key to less crying. For my daughter I have to suggest a million things before she thinks something is awesome. I will run through my typical list then hit extremes. It goes something like...Olivia do you want to: color? read books? play magnets? play Legos? cook dinner? stir the ingredients in the bowl? paint? jump up and down? jump on your bed? go outside? play on your slide? ETC. The list can be short or long depending on her. Most of the time I find something she wants to do besides watch TV and those times are great. On occasion its strictly TV and I know nothing other than TV will be good enough so I start to bargain. OK little girl you want to watch TV, great. If you read 5 books you can watch TV...the girl SPRINTS down the hall and gets 5 books to read...and we read them and she gets TV. I got what I want...her to sit down and chill out while doing something productive and she gets what she wants, to watch her show.
Sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing...correction: MOST times I wonder if I am doing the right thing but then I remember: she had breakfast, made it to school on time with a lunch, didn't break any bones at school, played with her friends, came home to dinner, has clothes and a home to sleep in, I love and kiss her on the daily. I am doing the best I can with what I have and that seems to be working well for us.
- Jenni
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